In my pay-for-play exploits, I have one cardinal rule---use a condom. I know that using a condom is not a 100% guarantee against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), but I suppose that I have more chances getting hit by a car than getting an STD while using a condom. When I get emails from readers divulging that they have STDs, all of them have admitted that, at some point in time, they had sex without a condom.

So let's say you had a moment of weakness and went unprotected. Maybe it was that alcohol you imbibed or that erotic lady you paid for that clouded your judgement. Your tryst is wild and wanton. But then your urges have been assuaged, and you regain your senses, and the fear of an STD gnaws in your psyche like Rod Serling's earwig. I need not elaborate on the list of possible STDs; there's Google and Wikipedia for that. (Coincidentally, as I was writing this, Philippine Star came out with an article on genital warts) The symptoms of STD include soreness, unusual lumps or sores, itching, pain when urinating, or a discharge. Some diseases take days to show its symptoms; AIDS symptoms show up in months or years if untreated. Peace of mind can only be obtained by visiting a doctor. If you have any of the symptoms, you definitely have to see a doctor. And avoid any sexual contact until you are cleared.

Visiting a doctor for a STD examination need not be an humiliating moment. You can go to any hospital front desk and ask for a urologist. A urologist does not only handle STDs---they also handle kidney disorders and urinary tract infections---so right off the bat you have some other plausible explanation why you are need to see a urologist.

You then go to the clinic, fill up the forms, write down any name you want (they don't ask for identification), and tell the doctor that you want be tested for an STD. There's no reason to be ashamed. Lots of guys get STDs.

The doctor will put on gloves and examine your genitals. I've always wondered if there are sexy female urologists. I bet that if there is one, there'll be a surge of men having themselves tested.

The examination is rudimentary. The standard blood test, which is needed for HIV testing, is painless. One "standard" test, however, is for the urologist to shove a swab inside your urethra. Yes, gentlemen, that's the duct inside your penis where both urine and semen pass through. The doctor will instruct your to take a deep breath, hold it, and then when he is inserting it inside your penile canal, you should let loose a slow exhale. Does it relieve the pain? No.

One of my friends who went through a STD test also had to go through a prostate examination. He detailed how the assistant inserted a finger up his anus, probed for the prostate, pressed down on the prostate hard enough to let loose some fluid. My friend said that he had to hold on to some railing inside the clinic and when it was over, he was surprised to find that tears have rolled down his cheeks. Sheesh, even while writing this I get the goose bumps.

I have heard that treatment for some STDs is easy and straight-forward, provided that it is detected early. Treatment for some STDs (like gonorrhea) is just some pills. I have heard that treatment for genital warts is similar as that of the "normal" warts---cauterization. I can imagine some miniature light saber thingy carving away that nasty wart just as one would carve a slice of ham on Christmas eve.

But if you think that is nasty, imagine what would happen when you tell your companion that you obtained some disease and that you could have passed it to her. Good luck with that.

(Photo Credit)