The Sperm Test
Monday, November 23, 2009 at 8:36AM A few days ago, for no special reason than to assuage my curiosity, I decided to get a sperm test. I imagined a private room with adult videos. And maybe there would be a sexy female assistant to "assist" me. Perhaps she would be clad in a pristine-white nurse uniform, just like this:
Sadly it was not the case.
The doctor gave me a small plastic cup and gestured me to enter his private washroom, which was so small that I could not stretch my arms horizontally without touching the walls. The assistant was a scrawny, curly-haired female with the sex appeal of a turtle. The doctor offered me some magazines, which were faded, crumpled, and had off-putting white stains where the pages obviously stuck together. I frantically did my business and spewed my manhood into the receptacle. I had sex the day before so I was not exactly proud of the volume.
It took the doctor just a few minutes to do his analysis, which did little to reassure me. Fortunately, he came back and said that my sperm count is above average with good motility. I felt like a kid that just got a passing grade. At least I can still father a child. But after a few minutes, I was not sure I was just handed over good or bad news. On one hand, I could get someone pregnant. On the other hand, I could get someone pregnant! One thing is certain---I'll still have to be wearing a condom while paying close attention to my partner's ovulation cycle.
Reader Comments (5)
I surmise sir that you are either of the following:
1. An aging single lothario; or
2. Married but partner is menopausal; or
3. Married but on family planning.
Which is it?
Buwayahman: Why isn't there an option for a young, single, hip adult?
Care to share where u done ur sperm test? I am planning to do the test as well.
Buwayahman: I had mine done in Cardinal Santos. But any urologist or any doctor specializing in fertility will be able to assist.
FIrst of all, your site is BRILLIANT! I rarely come across entertaining articles about human carnal exploits but this site isn't only enjoyable to read but also intelligently wriiten. Great work 'mate.
I was planning to get a sperm test after reading this article and remembering that I contracted mumps in the middle of my adolescent years. I now feel frantic about the prospect of having either lazy swimmers, slow swimmers or (worse!) no swimmers at all.
Buwayahman: Thanks!
I was lucky enough to have a very good health insurance when I had my sperm test recently in New York city. I was assisted by a very gorgeous female in collecting my specimen in one of the beuatifully furnished rooms of the clinic.On my way out I saw 2 patient doing the deeds with their own hands in a small cubicles and I asked the assistant who they are...and I was told that they're medicare patients.Moral of the story....it's worth to have good health insurance.
how much is it to have a sperm test?