in Dating and Relationships

I like sexting

Ok I admit it. I like typing out sexual messages, be it in Facebook, Viber, SMS, or whatever medium it takes for one-on-one conversation. There's something erotic in exchanging sexually explicit messages. It's a blood-rushing turn-on for me, a tool for seduction, and ideally prelude to real-life sex encounters.

Sexting to strangers is definitely creepy. I only sext with people with whom I have at least shared some sort of intimate moment. The intimacy need not be even physical. It could be that we share a fantasy about each other. And my sext mate has to be totally, 100% comfortable with it. I have had sexts with old college friends – it starts off as an amusement but before we know it, we are exchanging fantasies about each other. It doesn't always lead to sex, but it can be fun – if not an ego boost to both parties – knowing that we have the hots for one another.

I don't typically sext with escorts. Part of me feels it's an act they have to play to get me to be with them. If an escort initiates a sext, I feel it's a sales pitch. It can be fun though if you have already set a schedule with them and they begin sexting as a prelude.

Initiating a sext can be awkward. You could be chastised – or met with dead silence – leaving you feeling like some desparate teen-age pervert. Both parties can be busy or simply not in the mood. I normally start by saying “I'm horny” and see how where it takes me.

I have learned that sexting should be treated like writing erotica, in the sense that you can't be half-assed about it. Trying to be coy and flirtatious about it is ineffective. Go straight for the jugular. Don't write about how you want to “insert your rod of manhood inside her moist gates of heaven.” Say you want to “pound your cock inside her cunt.” Sexting is not about being romantic with flowerly prose. Sexting is about raw, animalistic passion. Sexting is not lyrical. Sexting is not Shakesperean sonnets. It's heavy metal rock with parental discretion. In describing your penis, don't use words like staff, pole, rod, or manhood. Say cock, dick, penis.

Someone asked me if it is considered cheating if you are in a relationship and you sext with another person. For me it's a matter of intentions. Are you sexting because you are seducing the third-party? Are you fantasizing about that other person? Is it because you are bored with your existing partner and want some novelty? I'd rather sext with the person I am in a relationship with – it can lead to hotter, wilder sex.

Male of female?

I have been meaning to right about my thoughts on the Jeffrey – or Jennifer – Laude situation but am having trouble assembling my thoughts. The entire incident involving him (or her?) with Pemberton has a life of its own and it seems to be spiralling into chaos. I mean, just as I was writing this, I saw in Twitter that a family member and his (or her) fiancee scaled the fence of Camp Aguinaldo where Pemberton is supposed to be held.

As you can see, I still have trouble figuring out what gender terminology to use. Do I use “him” or “her?” Let me stick to “him” for the meantime mainly because, well, legally-speaking, he is still a male. From what I gathered, his legal documents – his birth certificate, for example – explicitly indicates that he is male. Biologically speaking, he has a penis between his legs. That makes him a male in my book. Now whether he wants to be looked upon socially as a female is a different matter.

What we can learn from the great nude images leak of 2014

To tell the truth, I didn’t bother looking at the naked pics of Jennifer Lawrence or Kate Upton or of any other model that was leaked by the infamous 4Chan. Ok, I did search for the images just to see if it was indeed Jennifer Lawrence and when I saw one I didn’t bother with the rest. I knew then that the news was accurate.

Of course we will find the usual reactions. There are people who are overjoyed that they could view their fantasy celebrity in the nude. There are people who are appalled at their invasion of privacy. And there are the people who now question the security of the internet – especially cloud-based storage – and who now fear for the security of their data in the cloud.

I know that there are people who chastise these celebrities, calling them “sluts” and “whores” and saying that they deserve this situation they are in, that they deserve to be humiliated for their “porn-star” and “whorish” poses.

But then, what can we do to protect our private data?