in Dating and Relationships

Shower sex

When I was young, shower sex had been a fantasy of mine. There’s something about the soap, about lathering each other’s body, about water being sprayed on each other’s skin that was, in my mind, insanely erotic.

But when I got to experience it, it was not as easy as I had imagined. As an act of foreplay, it was electrifying. But when it was time for the actual sex, I discovered that it required some dexterity and a keen sense of balance. For example, for face-to-face encounters, your partner had to prop her foot on an item – like a faucet or a bucket – while balancing herself on one foot, which could be risky if the floor is slippery. She could wrap her legs around my waist, requiring me to practically carry her, which could pose some challenges depending on her weight. Resting her against the wall could be the solution. Doggie-style sex seems to be the best suited for shower sex – she could lean forward and grasp the shower knobs or the faucet – but it would require me to slightly bend my knees, putting some stress on it.

If wet, sudsy sex is the preference, then I would opt for bathtub sex or jacuzzi sex. Those would definitely be less strenuous on my aging joints.

Askmen also gives the following advice:

Positioning is key for pleasure and to prevent slipping in the shower — rear entry, and face-to-face with her leg wrapped around you or up on the wall, or side of the tub if you’re in a bath. Consider holding onto the shower walls during thrusting to avoid slipping, advises New York gynecologist Alyssa Dweck, MD, author of V Is For Vagina. Unfortunately, water doesn’t reduce friction or dryness, so a silicone lubricant like Wet Platinum will keep things slippery everywhere. It turns out water-based lubes just get washed away. “A wet T-shirt in the shower is a common erotic fantasy… try it… you might like it,” says Dweck.

All showers are designed differently, so the best position varies, but Chanel Preston, an adult contract performer and host of NakedWithChanel, says that, generally, doggy is the easiest option. It’s easy to bend over and lean against the shower door or wall and even prop your leg up on a shower stool or the tub. Standing missionary is another good option where you can also prop your leg up on something to maintain stability. If you have a standard showerhead, you may want to consider replacing it with a hand unit — one that has a hose and can detach. It’s really cheap and easy to replace, and it allows you to get her wet everywhere! I think the feeling of being soaked in water while having sex is very erotic, so shower sex is definitely a must, but make sure you’re safe, and have fun!

Male of female?

I have been meaning to right about my thoughts on the Jeffrey – or Jennifer – Laude situation but am having trouble assembling my thoughts. The entire incident involving him (or her?) with Pemberton has a life of its own and it seems to be spiralling into chaos. I mean, just as I was writing this, I saw in Twitter that a family member and his (or her) fiancee scaled the fence of Camp Aguinaldo where Pemberton is supposed to be held.

As you can see, I still have trouble figuring out what gender terminology to use. Do I use “him” or “her?” Let me stick to “him” for the meantime mainly because, well, legally-speaking, he is still a male. From what I gathered, his legal documents – his birth certificate, for example – explicitly indicates that he is male. Biologically speaking, he has a penis between his legs. That makes him a male in my book. Now whether he wants to be looked upon socially as a female is a different matter.