in Dating and Relationships

Talking dirty: Tagalog or English?

She came from a good school and worked as some senior manager in some manufacturing company. But most of all, she was an incredibly horny woman. She loved sex. As in she really loved sex. And for some reason she loved doing it with me. She would call every morning asking me when I would be free. And when we would meet, she would insist to go to one of the “flower” group motels in Pasig because it had mirrors on the wall and on the ceiling. She really enjoyed watching us have sex.

Most especially she enjoyed talking dirty. And she demanded that I talk to her in Tagalog. And for every dirty Tagalog word I said, she would moan louder.

There’s something about dirty Tagalog words that sound . . . well . . . filthy. I guess it’s because we hear the words fuck often – you hear it in movies, you hear it in the youth of today, you hear it in jest among friends – but you don’t hear the word kantot often. Either in anger or in jest, when you replace “Fuck you” with “Kakantotin kita,” it doesn’t have the same ring to it. (I hear the word hindot, though not as often as fuck.)

But she loved it. Inside her, pumping, with our faces just inches from each other, she would whisper in my ear “Talk to me in Tagalog.” And I would comply.

“Ang sarap mong kantotin,” I would say.

“Ang libog ko para sa iyo.”

“Putang-ina ka. Kantotin mo ako.”

And she would repeat the word over and over again. “Kantot . . . kantot . . . kantot . . . ” It would reach a cresecendo when she came and then gradually devolve to a whisper as she landed back from heaven to earth.

Do you know that there is an Urban Dictionary definition of the word kantot? Even the the definition sounds dirty – ang paglabas-masok ng tite sa puke o sa puwet o sa kahit na anong butas ng katawan. Or in English, “the repeated insertion of the penis inside the vagina or ass or any of the body’s orifaces.” You have to admit, the Tagalog version sounds much much raunchier. Synonyms for kantot include hindot and kadyut. I should probably use those words as well . . .

To this day, I would talk dirty in Tagalog. And I get a sense that women prefer Tagalog talk over English in the bedroom. Is it because to Filipinos, English sounds more intellectual and thus more clinical while Tagalog sounds vulgar and hence more passionate? Romantic sex – the kind you do with soft ballad music or the songs of Marvin Gaye – call for fine wine and lyrical poetry; wild, frantic, feral sex calls for hard rock, bright lights, hard liquor, and uncouth and unabashed verbage. To phrase make love to me is the romanticized version of fuck my brains out, and the latter, which is more raw, makes my heart pound faster than the former. I guess it’s because the more vulgar the language, the more emotionally natural it is? After all, you don’t say “I want to couplate with you.”

What we can learn from the great nude images leak of 2014

To tell the truth, I didn’t bother looking at the naked pics of Jennifer Lawrence or Kate Upton or of any other model that was leaked by the infamous 4Chan. Ok, I did search for the images just to see if it was indeed Jennifer Lawrence and when I saw one I didn’t bother with the rest. I knew then that the news was accurate.

Of course we will find the usual reactions. There are people who are overjoyed that they could view their fantasy celebrity in the nude. There are people who are appalled at their invasion of privacy. And there are the people who now question the security of the internet – especially cloud-based storage – and who now fear for the security of their data in the cloud.

I know that there are people who chastise these celebrities, calling them “sluts” and “whores” and saying that they deserve this situation they are in, that they deserve to be humiliated for their “porn-star” and “whorish” poses.

But then, what can we do to protect our private data?

On remaining a virgin

I know there are many people who look up to Nikki Gil for choosing to remain a virgin until she is married. “It’s my choice,” she said. Good for her! I admire women who make an active decision on their sexuality. A woman’s body is hers and she should not be a slave to what society dictates. I also hope that she did not put any moral judgement about her decision. No “holier-than-thou” attitude. No “slut-shaming.”