in Dating and Relationships

Aiza made me understand transgenderism

Aiza Seguerra said identifiying herself as transgender answered a lot of questions about her life.-Philippine Star File Photo

I have to give credit to Aiza Seguerra for making me appreciate what a transgender is.

Philippine Star published excerpts of her (his?) interview where Aiza stated that she is a transgender.

“Lesbian kasi are women na ang preference nila ay women also. Ang transgender naman, kumbaga iba 'yong gender identity namin sa akin,” she explained. (Lesbians are women whose preference are women also. A transgender is a difference in gender identity)

That statement made me wonder. What's a transgender? Isn't it the same as being a transsexual? I did some research and realised that there is a difference between transgender and transsexual. Transgender is an “umbrella” category of which transsexual is a subset of.

This is transgender, according to GLAAD:

An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. . . . Many transgender people are prescribed hormones by their doctors to change their bodies. Some undergo surgery as well. But not all transgender people can or will take those steps, and a transgender identity is not dependent upon medical procedures.

And this is transsexual:

An older term that originated in the medical and psychological communities. Still preferred by some people who have permanently changed – or seek to change – their bodies through medical interventions (including but not limited to hormones and/or surgeries). Unlike transgender, transsexual is not an umbrella term. Many transgender people do not identify as transsexual and prefer the word transgender. It is best to ask which term an individual prefers. If preferred, use as an adjective: transsexual woman or transsexual man.

People like Aiza should make society realize that we no longer live in a black-and-white world where gender roles are clearly delineated. We used to have just male and female roles. Then we had the so-called “third sex” – i.e., homosexuals. Now we have transgenders and transsexuals, and even within these categories we have grey areas and sub-categories.


On remaining a virgin

I know there are many people who look up to Nikki Gil for choosing to remain a virgin until she is married. “It’s my choice,” she said. Good for her! I admire women who make an active decision on their sexuality. A woman’s body is hers and she should not be a slave to what society dictates. I also hope that she did not put any moral judgement about her decision. No “holier-than-thou” attitude. No “slut-shaming.”

On blackouts and motels

Typhoon Glenda left us with a number of casualties, scores of uprooted trees and Meralco posts, and a power outage that blacked out most of Metro Manila. Many households, especially those in the south, have had no power for more than 48 hours. Even the posh subdivision of Ayala Alabang was not spared – according to my friends and relatives in that area, more than half of the subdivision still has not electricity.

So it’s no surprise that, as I drove inside Victoria Court Cuneta last Friday evening, the usher ran up to me and warned that we had to wait a little bit longer as there were no rooms available.

The Married Gigolo

The married man has a certain allure to some women. I consulted a female friend of mine who had a couple of affairs with married men and another female friend who is currently a mistress to a married man. Both echoed the same sentiment—the allure of the married man is not that he is forbidden fruit but that he is a proven item. He is proven to be desireable enough for at least one woman to pledge lifelong loyalty and fidelity. You can surmise that he has at least some experience in bed—and if has children, then you can further surmise that he has had multiple experiences in bed—with enough expertise to warrant a woman to have multiple experiences with him.

I guess that is why there is a market for male escorts who are also married.